Ok, I think this still needs work. I think it could help if your boy in the soda stand could make it like he's building this drink. He could say something like, "OK, to make your soda we need phosphoric acid which has been known to rot teeth, 4-mel which could cause cancer, etc." He has to do more than just say the ingredients. He has to talk it through like he's mixing a cake and adding in all the ingredients. Also at the end, you repeat the saying, "The choice is yours." Have him say that the first time but at the end, use, "Rethink your drink" as the final message because that's really the message you want to convey. 3 points out of 4
.My name is Erik I am currently in 6th grade. In my free time I like getting videos of waves, and putting them together to make edits. I also like taking pictures of waves.